I ABSOLUTELY love this book. I purchased it because, I fall off the wagon so easily and with all of the marked pages, I can easily skim through and remember that " Its about me , not them". I ran across a journal entry when reading this book:
For years I have known have been out of hand with my emotions. It all started years ago--when the boys were really little. I started yelling and demanding-just because I felt like I could and it seemed that I got results, so it became more frequent, more loud, more, more,more. Now today werare all negative and controlling and bossy and faultfinding. I am only on page 40 and I have learned SO MUCH.
Parenting isn't about the children, its about the parents and how they react. No one can make you feel or push your buttons unless you let them. It is not your children's responsibility to calm you down. It is not my children's responsibility to be caretakers of my emotional state. It shouldn't be me vs. it should be them vs. consequences (natural consequences). I have to read it a little at a time, to digest it all. It is so great! I have learned that I am not responsible FOR my children, but I am responsible TO my children, I cannot make them mindless robots (which I basically have, when it comes to chores). When children think for themselves--you've raised a rebel. When they do what you have programmed them them to do they "do the right thing"
I am responsible TO my children, husband and family members. I am accountable for how I think, feel and behave toward them. I am responsible To my children for how I behave, regardless of how he or she behaves.
It has been up to my children to manage my reactions, because I have lost the ability to control myself (by yelling). But now, my goal is to influence, not coerce.
And you should read the chapter on SPACE
This is one of the best parenting books I have ever read. I have read many, many,many of them and This One is the BOMB. Highly recommended, even if you aren't a yeller.
For years I have known have been out of hand with my emotions. It all started years ago--when the boys were really little. I started yelling and demanding-just because I felt like I could and it seemed that I got results, so it became more frequent, more loud, more, more,more. Now today werare all negative and controlling and bossy and faultfinding. I am only on page 40 and I have learned SO MUCH.
Parenting isn't about the children, its about the parents and how they react. No one can make you feel or push your buttons unless you let them. It is not your children's responsibility to calm you down. It is not my children's responsibility to be caretakers of my emotional state. It shouldn't be me vs. it should be them vs. consequences (natural consequences). I have to read it a little at a time, to digest it all. It is so great! I have learned that I am not responsible FOR my children, but I am responsible TO my children, I cannot make them mindless robots (which I basically have, when it comes to chores). When children think for themselves--you've raised a rebel. When they do what you have programmed them them to do they "do the right thing"
I am responsible TO my children, husband and family members. I am accountable for how I think, feel and behave toward them. I am responsible To my children for how I behave, regardless of how he or she behaves.
It has been up to my children to manage my reactions, because I have lost the ability to control myself (by yelling). But now, my goal is to influence, not coerce.
And you should read the chapter on SPACE
This is one of the best parenting books I have ever read. I have read many, many,many of them and This One is the BOMB. Highly recommended, even if you aren't a yeller.
Oh my gosh! I've never "met" anyone else who has read this book before!! I recommend it to anyone who wants a good parenting book to read. It is amazing.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that my children are glad I read this book, too... :)